The realisation is sudden, illuminating, like the sun
breaking through the clouds. Clarity,
the removal of the lens, and I can see colour again. It casts a light on the new path, it is frozen,
untrodden by the deceiving warmth of familiarity, but it sparkles. Take a step, noting the false horizons, the
rough patches, but finally trusting that it is the right one.
I am here, at the
top, and I will wait for you – no more running around searching for you. It
wasn’t me that was lost, it was you, looking at someone else’s map, trying to
follow incomplete instructions, guessing at what filled the blank spaces. It’s ok.
You didn’t know any different.
But it’s time to set out along the path, come and find me, make us
complete and strong. I will wait, be
patient as you stumble across the heather, sink into the boggy patches, crash
through the ice into the water, and I will fly to meet you when you come into
view, travel with you where it is safe for me to go – I am the key, the truth –
your freedom, if you choose to let me join you. I have the innate wisdom you
have forgotten, the character that will allow you to be whole. So set out on the path without fear, it might
hurt, you will probably fall, but it takes you somewhere new, somewhere I
instinctively inhabit – I may be small and scared but I have the spontaneity
and certainty you long for – we can share.
I am generous, joyful, quick to forgive – truly forgive, not push to one
side to pretend it didn’t hurt – and I am totally ready to forgive and trust
you, even after all your mistakes. They
were not yours, you see – just a continuation of the mistakes inflicted on you,
on me, on us from the start. In fact, it
is amazing we have got to here, survived.
But it’s time to do more than survive, let us leap, dance, live.
It will be amazing. Tough, but amazing – and real.
All I ask… is that you want me.
