It's the little things

Some days I suddenly discover a wealth of support coming at me from nowhere in particular, just little things that strengthen my resolve for making today a Good Day.  I tend to think of support as coming from friends/family etc, but sometimes there are small occurrences that remind me to support myself, and these sometimes feel even more helpful.

I love the coincidences.  This morning, having decided to look after myself last night by going to stay with friends while hubby is away instead of spending the night being miserable by myself, I popped home to feed the cat, and decided to flick the radio on for some company.  I tuned in just in time for Thought For The Day (yes, I am a radio 4 geek.), and heard someone elderly and kindly-sounding talking about the new Anthony Gormley sculpture in Canterbury Cathedral.  It is a sculpture of a body, made from old nails, and the artist says of it:

"We are all the temporary inhabitants of a body. It is our house, instrument and medium.  Through it all impressions of the world come and from it all our acts, thoughts and feelings are communicated." 

The speaker went on to talk about how we are so often dissatisfied with our body, yet it is in fact this wonderful, God-given thing through which we live our lives, and that we must learn to love and look after our selves and bodies in order to live a full life.  It takes very little for me to forget this, and this simple message was a timely reminder for me this morning.

Next I hop in my car (after breakfast!), hit 'play' on my iPod, and this song plays:

Hypnotised by mirrors,
You should look out your window,
Beneath cracked panes of ice,
The sky's on fire.
Drowned by the screams of decadence,
A call to arms

Too busy working out to,
Work it out.

It's not gonna matter what you chose,
It's too late when everything goes Dark

One of my favourite songs, nothing unusual about hearing it, but it is one that made me have a think about what the heck I was doing to myself when I made a decision to do the recovery thing 'proper'.  

Stop looking in the mirror, slow down and make the decision to live, before you can't.  The Hoosiers have notoriously ambiguous lyrics, but this one spoke to me with startling clarity.  I am almost certain that the writer of the song was not considering eating disorders when he wrote this, but it translated perfectly to me in that context. 

Lastly the simple fact that IT IS NO LONGER JANUARY!!!  I hate January, as I'm sure many others do.  It is long, dark, anniversary-filled and miserable.  But today is February, and this simple fact makes me think of lighter nights and just generally looking forward again, instead of being stuck in a dark hole.

Just little things, but they were enough to convince me that I can do this today.